the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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