Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
