So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
