in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
