who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
