its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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