he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
