i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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