I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
