I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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