I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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