So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
