Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
