you guys were way drunker than both of me
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
