If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
