I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
