Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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