My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Princesses don't give blow jobs
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This is the high leading the old right now
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
