I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
