Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
