I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
