my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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