Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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