You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize