cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
