hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
