what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize