Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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