16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
