I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
