just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
