No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
