Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
