everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
