Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
