I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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