My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
