I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Is it penis luge time yet?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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