Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
