He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
