she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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