I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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