I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She's the barista slut.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
