Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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