I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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