nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
