Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
