ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
