You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
