So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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