Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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