'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
