FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
