I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
