I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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