So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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