I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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