I can't breathe out the right side of my face
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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