So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
