Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
