ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
